This seems a good a time to introduce how I found a way to improve some of the long-term effects from my tbi: Delta-9-tetrahydrocannabinol (THC), and I have my daughter to thank for it. It was just over a year ago, in July 2021 and Lucy had a couple of friends over in the garden enjoying a smoke. Someone jokingly asked if I wanted to roll one up for them. I used to smoke weed when I was younger, and I was happy to oblige 😁 I was then offered a toke. I had not smoked for about 20 years. In fact, I gave up smoking when Lydia and I were expecting Lucy! I had also not smoked weed for even longer than that. Within a few seconds of inhaling that first toke, I felt the racing thoughts start to ease off. I took a couple more and the effect increased. It was like a eureka moment, and I even felt a little emotional. I was still studying at the time, and over the following days, I did a lot of research using the OU’s library database with access to the best medical/science/research publications available. I searched for papers relating to the efficacy of using cannabis to treat the psychological and neurobiological symptoms associated with head injuries…and there were studies to support it. So, thanks to peer pressure from my, then 19-year-old daughter and her friends, I was smoking what some retarded people refer to as a ‘gateway drug’ 😬 The only downside was inhaling tobacco, but lung cancer is not something I’m worried about tbh 😁
The research showed (it’s almost like writing for science again 😂) that symptoms relating to depression and anxiety after a head injury were improved by using cannabis, and there were several studies all showing the same link. Now, just over a year later, I smoke cannabis most days, and on top of that, I’m smoking the best Cali weed available in the UK. The weed I smoked in the garden was ok, but the stuff I started smoking in January was on a different level altogether, and it couldn’t have come at a better time. I was still in quite severe pain from my ankle injuries from just a couple of weeks previously. The only pain relief I had till then was 160 tablets of co-codamol, which were of no use to me in their original form, as I don’t take paracetamol and haven’t done so for several years. I did, however use cold water extraction (CWE) in order to separate the codeine from the paracetamol. I don’t recommend doing this unless you know what you’re doing though. Paracetamol intoxication is not a nice, or quick way to go. However, CWE is piss easy and if someone manages to fuck it up and die, well they’re a fucking idiot (harsh, but fair). I did it stoned off my tits and the opioid solution I drank was lush 👌 I’m pretty sure it’s illegal though, so bear that in mind 🤔 Also, people who struggle with habit-forming addictions (such as DWP employees) probably shouldn’t do this as codeine is highly addictive. Opioid metabolism and tolerance levels vary greatly between individuals. This means that it is possible for some of those individuals to overdose on relatively low doses.
The Cali strains I started smoking made the ankle pain much more manageable, as well as continuing to improve my head injury symptoms. This also lifted my mood after being stuck inside and isolated over Christmas and New Year. Being a bit of nerd, especially when genetics are involved, I started to look into the genetic diversity of weed chemovars and the results were astonishing. Since the state of California decriminalised cannabis for recreational use in 2017, state-funded research, as well as from the private sector drove the cultivation of chemovars which could target specific conditions. The analgesic effects of cannabinoids have been well-known for quite some time, and as pain is a symptom of many chronic, debilitating and life-limiting conditions, it’s not surprising that many healthcare systems are prescribing medicinal cannabis to reduce suffering. Chemical compounds known as terpenes play a key role in generating chemovars which can improve symptoms relating to pain, anxiety, depression and mood disorders. Terpenes such as limonene, linalool and caryophyllene can even massively enhance arousal. A wide range of flavours and tastes can also be engineered through cross and selective breeding parent plants with certain chemical characteristics. I tend to go for citrus/lemon flavour chemovars, but the best I’ve had is peanut butter breath. It even tastes and smells like peanuts! The weed even helps keep my self-esteem high, as I get shit done when I’m stoned. It has made such a difference for me and I wish I had tried it when recovering from concussion. I’m pretty sure I could complete essays in a few hours stoned. I’ve been stoned for every single MH assessment I’ve had in recent months and left a senior psychiatrist completely lost for words on several occasions. I have at times demonstrated a better understanding of science, psychology and general knowledge than some of the MH professionals I’ve talked to 😬 Bar the very occasional loss of train of thought and/or speech or language issue, which have been present since my head injury, I have talked openly about death and answered hypothetical questions about my children’s grief, and not only been able to maintain a high level of concentration, I have kept my shit together too. I’ve even managed to make every single one of those professionals laugh.
This isn’t an open endorsement of cannabis btw. Many studies have shown an increased risk for users developing some psychiatric disorders, but the link isn’t clear. A person’s genetic makeup, as well as environmental factors, diet as well as that person’s response to stress and trauma are much more influential. I personally think ethanol alcohol (ETOH) is far more destructive. Not just psychologically, but also physiologically too. Had I not been drinking a bottle of wine most nights, I would not have tried to hang myself with Poppy’s lead as a result of some shitty stressors in 2019. Those stressors included devastating feelings of guilt, for being led to believe that I was the reason that someone I deeply cared for at the time, was raped. Cannabis works for me, and it has made such a positive difference over the last year. The only side-effect is the cost. It is completely unsustainable for someone in my financial situation, but it was only going to be a temporary solution anyway.
C₂H₆O & C₁₈H₂₁NO₃…
These are the molecular formulas for ethanol and codeine. Two substances that are responsible for far too many deaths every day. Alcohol is seen as being ‘socially acceptable’, and we’re encouraged to drink it through advertising and special offers. It’s also a substance that destroys lives, and not just the person who abuses it. Codeine and other opioid addictions such as Fentanyl are one of the biggest ongoing health threats affecting the world, along with bacterial resistance to antibiotics. These two chemical substances played a crucial role in my relationship with Jo.
Pods 10, 1 & 5…
Jo’s interesting take on getting her ‘5-a-day’ included a novel use of a banana in pod #5 at Cwmcarn. Amazingly, this has not put me off bananas!
If I don’t get a round of applause, I’ll be disappointed 🤭
Newport Shitty Council’s Rehousing Service…
When we started seeing each other, Jo told me that she wanted to save me, and that she wasn’t going to give up on me. I said from the start that she wasn’t going to change my mind, but the more time we spent together, the more I could see a future with her. Going forward depended on the help of Newport City Council (NCC). I reached out to NCC’s rehousing service with an email sent from Starbucks on the 30/06/2022. I explained my situation and how recent adverse weather conditions had left me exposed to extreme risk and if they could help with temporary accommodation. To their credit, the rehousing team got in touch very quickly…whilst I was still in Starbucks! 👍 An over-the-phone assessment was arranged for the next morning (I was staying at Cwmcarn at the time), and later that evening, I received a welfare check call from Blackwood Police Station. I had a frank and open discussion with PC Griffiths and explained my situation with a bit more detail and how meeting Jo had changed things for me. The next morning, Eric (affectionately referred to as ‘Eric the erection’…it just helps me remember names since my head injury) from NCC phoned to do the assessment. We spoke for over 20 minutes about how I became homeless, the impact of my head injury and how it is linked to my decision to end my life, as well as how choice is important to me. I also told him that it was my choice to be homeless in a tent and that had it not been for meeting Jo, I would not be here. Eric the erection was moved when listening to my story 🤭 Even though I managed to make him laugh several times during the call, it was difficult conversation for him. The call ended positively though. Eric advised that had it not been for a Rammstein concert in Cardiff that weekend, NCC would have placed me in a budget hotel or basic B&B in Newport, Cardiff or Caerphilly, but they were all fully booked. It had been about 24 hours since I reached out to NCC, but I was genuinely impressed with their response. NCC were going to help me…or so I thought.
A week passed with no contact from the rehousing team. I reached out to Eric via email and still didn’t get a reply. When I did get to speak to someone, I was advised that NCC sent an email to me on the 7th July. It’s now August and that email has still not been received. They had also tried contacting me using an old mobile number, even though Eric had managed to call me using the correct number 🤔 Eleven days passed until I spoke to the emergency accommodation team who had some amazing news for me: NCC had found me temporary accommodation!
I met Dan at the location on Commercial Road in Pillgwenlly (Pill), Newport later that day, Tuesday the 12th. Dan’s job, which he carried out with the enthusiasm usually associated with a trip to the dentist, included doing a quick risk assessment before going through the ‘house rules’. The rules quickly established that I would have no rights, no dignity and little privacy. The house rules alone made it feel like being homeless is a crime and I should agree to lose some basic rights when asking for help. No visitors were allowed at all, mixing with the other ‘inmates’ in their rooms was also forbidden and there was also a strict curfew. Some of those rules would’ve made it impossible to see Jo; other rules such made it impossible to use my phone or laptop, as all electrical devices, except those which are brand new and still boxed and the receipt were required to be PAT tested before they can be used. Wow, what an innovative and really helpful way to help homeless people stay connected in emergency accommodation! 🤔 Staff were also permitted to enter rooms at any time to search through my stuff. I asked Dan if someone would try to take my weed off me if found, and he replied that “it would be a breach” 😂 There was also a shared kitchen which had more rules such as only one inmate at a time can use it and inmates have to use their own cutlery, crockery, cookware, cleaning equipment. This one wasn’t so bad for me, as I had my camping stove, pans, cutlery, plus cleaning stuff from living in a tent since March. I signed my agreement to become an inmate in the knowledge that the rules alone would make it impossible to stay there for more than a few nights. Dan then had the pleasure of showing me my room. It was on the first floor, and thanks to the high ground floor ceilings, there were extra steps to get there. NCC were aware that I have ongoing knee problems and for the last few months, I have worn a strap to keep my left kneecap in place when walking. My right patella ligament has also been inflamed, with a burning sensation when the ligament is under load. Whilst I’m still very fit considering I haven’t done road cycling for over a year and on top of that, I look in excellent shape thanks to just 3% body fat from walking up to 100 km a week, steps are something that I try to avoid when possible. Never thought I’d be avoiding stairs at 46! 😂 So, I followed Dan’s joyless, but substantial shape up what felt like 100 steps to view my room for the next few nights. I was expecting basic, but it failed to meet that low expectation. There was a bed, with a mattress, a bedside unit, a single wardrobe, a chest of drawers and an absolutely minging window. The mattress was filthy and covered in stains. Knowing what I know about infections, I would not have slept on it. I quickly decided that I’d sleep on the floor, but a closer look at the state of the carpet left me doubting that. I sat on the bed for about 20 mins and realised I would not survive the night and it would have been a traumatic end (which was something I was hoping to avoid). In those 20 mins, I heard a fight in the street as wells as sirens from several police cars responding to various local emergencies. I couldn’t fault the entertainment tbh. There may not have been a TV, and my laptop needed PAT testing before I could use it, but the sights and sounds of Pill made up for the lack of any other stimulation. The building was about a kilometre to the bus station, and even further to the train station. Again, not helpful with my knee issues and reliance on public transport. I got my stuff, handed the key to the security guard and told him my reasons for leaving: I said that if I stayed, I would not last the night. I asked if I needed to sign out or contact anyone and he said he would give them a ring to let them know.
A bitter Pill to swallow…
I didn’t hear anything from NCC for a few days and continued to live in my tent at Cwmcarn. I emailed Eric again on the 15/07 to explain the urgency and uncertainty of my situation and to ask if any ‘suitable’ temporary accommodation had been found. I also stated my reasons as to why the room in Pill was unsuitable, and queried why it wasn’t the type of temporary accommodation that he suggested it would be on the phone. Eric didn’t reply. NCC next contacted me on the 27/07 with an email telling me that they have ended my Section 68 duty. Because I had decided not to stay in their offer of temporary accommodation, they were not going offer me anything else. To say this was a massive kick in the bollocks would be a bit of an understatement. By the time I read the email, I was already aware of their decision: the previous 12 days had been extremely eventful to say the least.
Good communication skills are the key to success…
This is where I can show off some impressive memory and technical skills, plus as Surrey County Council have finally complied with my subject access request* (it took the lazy cunts 4 months), it is perfect timing 👌
Click here to continue reading.
Evidence submitted to the DWP, includes phone conversations with Jo (in her role as my work coach/DWP supplied prostitute as well as other calls) and several of her colleagues, WhatsApp and SMS messages, journal messages, emails and subject access requests. Also, phone conversations with Gwent Police, South Wales Police, Newport City Council (NCC), Rachel Mackie, Pobl, Newport Gateway and the South Wales Argus are included. I’ve added these calls for context, as they show the lengths I went to ask for help with my situation. They also show how much I protected Jo’s identity and the fact she works for the Department of Wankers and a Prostitute (DWP). Calls from NCC reveal how I was promised that I would be placed in suitable temporary accommodation in the form of a budget hotel or basic B&B within 3 days. Two weeks passed until they offered me unsuitable accommodation on the second floor of a halfway house. The room itself was absolutely filthy from the floor to the ceiling, with stains and human hair on the carpets, mattress, windows and walls. NCC then removed their legal obligation to help me without finding me ANY suitable accommodation. They forced me to continue sleeping rough in a broken tent when I was struggling with mobility due to my knee issues. This was during the heatwave of 2022 which was unbearable enough in a tent, but my photosensitivity made conditions far worse.
Calls to the police are also included. These feature some of the finest officers from Gwent Police, plus Officer Linehan from South Wales Police. My calls to 101 are also included when I informed the police of Jo’s very relaxed attitude to sleeping with clients, as well as using them for odd-jobs around the house. I also informed Gwent Police that Jo had asked me to murder both her ex-husbands. However, shockingly the police weren’t at all fussed that a ‘person’ in a position of responsibility had acted like a complete cunt, as Jo repeatedly did. The police advised that it was a civil matter.
Most people I have talked to about my experiences over the last year or so have been utterly shocked to find out how little support I’ve received. This is in-spite of me coming close to freezing and starving on several occasions. This is also in-spite of me submitting the evidence to back up my allegations. Besides a few useless and incompetent cockstains at the DWP, most of the people I have talked to believe my version of events. Not really surprising when I have so much evidence to back up each allegation.
Jo, I realise alcoholics and junkies have issues with memory and honesty, so I hope you enjoy listening to your bullshit. When I finish, everyone you know will be aware of a what a complete cunt you are and how you treat those you claim to love. I reckon my experiences will resonate with a few fellas you have known…in fact, I know at least 2 guys who recognise your toxic behaviour.